Investing in Criticism
This Friday I’m handing the mic to Eryn, our Director of Communications and Development here at School Leader Lab.
In his book Unreasonable Hospitality, Will Guidara writes, “Praise is affirmation, but criticism is investment. If your response is consistently defensive, if you always push back or insist on justifying your mistakes, people are eventually going to stop coming to you.” Growing up, I was that kid who hated group projects. Inevitably, I ended up doing the majority of the work myself. As a twenty-one-year-old in my first year teaching, I had yet to shed this mentality, thereby shutting my teammates out. A moment with our grade-level lead was the wake up call I needed.
“Can you come to my classroom for a minute?” It was a month into my first year of teaching and our grade-level lead had just called me for a chat. I walked down the hallway with my heart simultaneously in my throat and the pit of my stomach. When I entered her classroom, she shared, “Since you got here, you have been in your own bubble, refusing any help from your colleagues. You are coming off cold, like you are better than everyone else, and you aren’t trying to be a member of this team. That’s how I’m feeling but I want to hear from you.” She was right. She had welcomed me with open arms, lesson plans, and materials for my classroom and I had said, “thanks, but no thanks.” After she shared, I sat and the tears came rolling down. But this criticism, as hard as it was to hear, changed the trajectory of my professional life.
You may be skeptical about the idea of critiquing the behaviors of direct reports or coworkers. But let me offer an analogy: when we work out, we create micro-tears in our muscles. When these micro-tears repair, they become stronger and more resilient than they were before. Conversely, if we do not work out, our muscles become weaker from disuse. When you look at it this way, criticism is a way to help someone else grow and succeed. When we don’t care, we stay silent. Criticism creates the micro-tears that make people stronger. And giving it to (and graciously receiving it from) others is an investment that creates long-term fortitude and success in them and their future.
So what does this look like in practice?
Establish trust. The comments from my grade-level lead would have meant nothing without trust. People find it easier to accept criticism from someone they believe is acting in their best interests.
Listen to this podcast from Harvard Business Review: How to Give- and Receive- Critical Feedback.
Check out Brene Brown’s Daring Feedback Checklist.
Read this Giving Feedback resource from the Management Center.
Our grade-level team went on to not only achieve, but surpass, our charter’s goals for the first time in the school’s history that year. This would not have been possible unless my lead had taken the time and invested in me with her criticism. Mid-year reviews are coming up soon! Are you investing in people to make them stronger?
